Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Few Good Men

The Good Customer. Elusive, rare, often just an illusion. But I have to say, there are some guys who are just solid, solid gold.

My new Irishman regular has reminded me that I need to stop stigmatizing/ridiculing "strip club customers" as some sort of homogenous group. Yes, perhaps many of them are grabby, or stingy, or sexist, or stalkery, or highly self-absorbed. Yes, maybe some of them have questionable STI's. (Who can forget this guy?)

And even with the GOOD customers, there's usually a catch.

For instance, take my aformentioned architect friend (blueprint blueballs guy). He's really nice, and very sweet and kind and respectful of my time as an employee of the club. But it only took him two visits before he started pressing me to meet him outside. As of this week, now that he knows I am not likely to go out with him, he's told me he probably won't be visiting me at the club anymore.

Then there was DVD/girlfriend guy who was hot and interesting. But then he went and split up with his girlfriend because of hopes of being with me and started showing up at the club all the time and got massively annoying.

Generally, "good customer"ness is a short-lived trait. It's a matter of time before you get tired of me, start doubting my motives for being nice to you, start spending less money, or press me to meet you outside.

Mr. Ireland has reminded me that the good customer doesn't always need a fatal flaw. Like I said in my last post, this guy is super politicized, really intelligent, humble, and generous. He never talks down about strippers, never makes excuses or feels the need to justify why he's in the place to begin with, and has no delusions about the commercial nature of our relationship. In other words, he's perfectly happy to fork over money for a good (bounded-authentic) afternoon with me, without trying to turn it into a date, sex, or therapy. (I seriously need to knock on wood... Quick! Get me a customer's crotch!)

Mr. Ireland goes on the list with this guy, and my favorite flamingly gay customer who takes me to the champagne room to chat and get drunk on mimosas.

Then again, this isn't a tough list to top...


  1. I have a really hard time trying to string them along. Girls tell me again and again to not tell them flat out that I don't want to go out with them, but I feel guilty when I suggest that it may be a possibility. I don't feel guilty for pretty much any other money making tactic, but that one bothers me.

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  2. Mr. Ireland sounds like a rare one, indeed. A four-leaf clover in a field of horny weeds.

  3. I find it funny that a stripper expects any guy who comes into a strip club to be "normal".

    I have gone to a few strip clubs with friends, and they always come back to me and tell me the girl likes them. My response, no friggin duh they like you. You just paid for 5 lap dances!

    I have no interest in paying somebody to be nice to me so see no reason to go to a strip club. I would like to know however, how do you expect these guys to act when they are so stupid they believe you when you're nice to them? I know you could care less about anything but what they hand you to rub against them but clearly they don't.

    One friend got a phone number from a stripper and when I told him she did that to get rid of you he couldn't believe me. He got home, called the number and reached some gay bar mens bathroom.

    I found that to be pretty funny and too bad who ever answered didn't sound female, that could have gone to a funnier level but I digress.

    Of course they ask you out, of course they want to meet you outside the bar! You're pretty, you ground your junk in their lap, or face or what have you and got them horny!

    Seems to me you get what YOU didn't pay for and are complaining that guys are acting like, well, guys. They pay for it in real life, so when they pay for it in a club in their view only the venue has changed.