Monday, October 7, 2013

Teacher, leave them kids alone...

Well, the unthinkable happened at work.

Just as I stepped onto the floor at the beginning of my shift, freshly-painted face and wonderfully blown-out hair, I noticed a strangely familiar face across the bar from me. As my brain quickly went through its bank of faces, my mouth let a loud "Oh, FUCK!" escape and my feet, as if unconnected from the rest of me, raced back to the dressing room.

It was a student of mine. No, not a former student. A current one. He did not see me - he was busy organizing the singles in his wallet. But I got a clear enough look at him to know for sure that it was, in fact, him.


The housemom, shocked and sympathetic, let me hide out in the dressing room and gave the DJ strict orders to not put me on stage until the guy had left.

I mentioned my twin sister the next time I was teaching, in case my student-customer (who, admittedly, isn't that bright and probably believed it) had caught a glimpse of me. This was hands down the creepiest "small world" moment I've had at work. Others include:
-the fact that one of the lapdance bouncers works out at my gym, so we're often taking turns on the benchpress or lat pulldown.
-the fact that on Tinder, one of my 'matches' was this dude who shaves his chest and likes his nipples yanked and bitten and I've been lapdancing for for years.
-the time a guy from the club saw me on the subway - fully dressed, heading to the East Village for a night out - and tipped me $5.00 ON THE TRAIN in front of some very confused strap-hangers.
-the night I had dinner at a restaurant table adjacent to a customer who always forces me to make out during dances. He was nervously glancing at me throughout dinner, looking from me to his wife and two daughters, probably worried that I'd out his face-raping ways.