Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Gentleman's Flub

A month or so ago, I had this great customer. Really nice, older white dude, very generous. We spent an hour in the champagne room and bonded over our shared politics, and he shared with me some great suggestions for dining and theater. The hour in the back ended with kind words being exchanged, along with email addresses. I went home and Googled him to discover that he's a very successful producer on Broadway.

The following email exchange ensued:
Him: I had a blast meeting you today. You are awesome, and we definitely had a spark. Good luck with the new school year, and write me back with when you're free for dinner.

Me: Thanks, I felt likewise meeting you. You're terrific company. Unfortunately, I don't think I can go out with you since you're my customer; if you find yourself in NYC again, stop by the club!

Him: I know you feel hesitant about meeting me, but please consider it. It's impossible to deny that something rare happened between us.

Me: Yes, I know we had a connection, but I feel very uncomfortable crossing that line. It's not you,* it's just the rule.

Him: Please reconsider. Perhaps we can meet in a very public place, just dine, and leave it at that.

I never responded to that email; I figured the more I said no, the more he'd just step up his persistence.

A few weeks later I was dancing in the cage in the front of the club and some guy was talking to me and tipping me for shaking my ass and in strolled Broadway Guy! I thought he reconsidered and decided it was better for us to hang out in the club than not at all, so I gave him a big grin. He nodded at me, but walked past. I assumed he was being respectful toward me and the customer I was entertaining. Said customer ended up swallowing much of my time for the rest of my shift, so I didn't really get to see or talk to Broadway.

The next time I was at work, Broadway came back again. This time, I was not busy when he showed up. He walked right past me, over to one of the waitresses, and started lavishing compliments on her, holding her hands and playing with her hair, right there in front of me. Another waitress walked by and he did the same thing. Then he went and sat with this dancer, right in front of me, and was talking to her really loud and being showy about all the affection he was giving her. When he walked past me at one point, I grabbed his arm to say hi (I didn't really mind that he was hanging out with others, though I did mind the cold shoulder) and he looked at me and then looked away, and kept walking.

Um, seriously!? You really think acting like this is going to make me wish I'd gone out with you? Were you so busy making millions of dollars these past few decades that you forgot to become an adult? Is it normal behavior for grown men to behave like fucking imbeciles?

Also, he literally just rolled into the club, lavished every girl except me with a few hugs and compliments, and left. If he really wanted to make me regret it, he should have given a very visible million dollar tip to someone, or something. I'm not sitting there like "Damn! I wish I was that girl not making a buck while this rich old fart admires my red toenails!"

*Not entirely true. I generally don't date bald, 52-year old rich white men who spend all their spare time in strip clubs. But, to his credit, he was really charming and funny and intelligent the first time we met.

1 comment:

  1. "Is it normal behavior for grown men to behave like fucking imbeciles?"

    In my opinion the answer is an obvious YES. I also look to the ABC Family lineup to define my moral compass.