There was this dashing older man in a tie tipping me at the stage, so I pulled up a chair when I was done with my stage set. He didn't seem that interested until I said something about summer almost being over. "You're in school? What do you study?" The conversation quickly turned into a double-entendre-peppered debate between a libertarian trained as a political scientist, and myself. In the real world, I walk away rolling my eyes. In strip club world, I tolerate his elitism and ignorance and embrace a Maria Shriver-esque bipartisan camaraderie so I can take all the money this colorblind meritocracy has allowed him to earn. Indeed, he does end up spending a chunk of money on me, after giving me a very long speech about how confused his penis is, ("He came here looking for anything other than intelligent conversation with a hot cosmopolitan woman!", he tells me, talking about his penis in the third person, I suppose) and how libertarianism is anticolonial. My gentle (still trying to get his cash!) protests only excite him more. He slips me his business card (containing his first, middle, and last name - each of which sounds like a very old-school English last name...) before he leaves, and tells me to get in touch. ("Coffee, tea, or me" were his exact words, I believe.)
Dutifully, I google him as soon as I get home. The man was a nominee on the primary ballot for VP in several states a few elections ago*! I found a gazillion news articles about him, his happy marriage and four children, his Ivy League pedigree, and his views on how libertarian politics can solve all our foreign policy issues. I can't believe I was debating politics with a right wing U.S. politician! It's like playing devil's advocate with the devil himself...
* Apparently there are only a couple states that even have a primary ballot for VP.
I've made a drink in your honor named The Cosmopolitan Poledance.
ReplyDeleteHe seems like the type of well-bred fellow who would name his penis. My guess is it would be "Lord Kensington."
ReplyDeleteit's been way too long since i've checked out this blog! another drink in your honor would be the Hot Cosmo, chili-infused variation on the original?
ReplyDeleteof all the creeps who've made appearances on this blog, this dude is hands down the creepiest. libertarians are soooooooo gross!
ReplyDeleteseriously, i'd rather spit shine Benjamin's buttons until they're so bright you'd need sunglasses to look at them (a la Chris Rock, see previous post) than have to talk to this douche.
ReplyDelete